y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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