I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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