I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize