no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
