I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
