fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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