I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
