She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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