and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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