And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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