I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize