I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
