I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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