Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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