It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
