We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
