He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
