I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
