what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
