whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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