Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
