I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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