Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
