Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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