There is too much vodka and too much dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
