I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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