Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
