honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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