we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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