i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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