He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
