I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
