I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
