Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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