sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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