Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize