you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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