i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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