True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
