Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
