If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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