he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
