remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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