Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
