I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's great music for shaving your balls
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
