those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
