I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
