I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
