I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize