I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
