if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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