My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
