You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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