i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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